If you have been around here for a while, you have most likely heard me mention The Enclave. It’s a cozy little community hub that’s only 2.6 miles from my home, and it has become one of my favorite places to be. I meet friends there for lunch or tea, bring my laptop and work, read, relax, and sometimes treat women to a little self-care. I go alone, with my daughter, and as a family. Sometimes I enjoy lunch or a cup of tea. Other times, I’m perfectly happy sitting by the fire pit, listening to the music and watching life happen around me.

At this point, I have to ask myself: Have my trips to The Enclave crossed over from self-care to addiction? Well…let’s examine the evidence. 😂

Ahhh, I’m Here!

The experience starts before I even get inside. As soon as I park the car, I’m scurrying to get in. I’m excited and can hardly wait for the experience to begin. Then comes that feeling: Ahhh, I’m here! I instantly relax.

Today, I decided to pay attention to why this place has that effect on me. In fact, I wrote part of this blog while sitting in my favorite spot — the low-seated rockers in front of one of the fire pits. The fire wasn’t on yet, but the waterfall beside me was. I could hear the soothing sound of running water and soft pop music playing in the background. The music was upbeat, but not so loud that people couldn’t have a conversation.

A light breeze came through every so often, butterflies fluttered around, and trees and shrubs surrounded the area with plenty of shady places to sit. I watched people working on their computers, couples having coffee dates, people walking their dogs, and young couples strolling by holding hands. A group of young adults played ping-pong while a couple of guys played cornhole nearby. Every once in a while, I’d hear laughter coming from another table.

And there I was, sitting in my rocker, sipping a lavender chai and taking it all in. It’s oh so good.

Why Can’t I Just Do This at Home?

That’s a fair question. I can drink tea at home. I can read at home. I can work on my laptop at home. I can sit outside on my patio, and I do. But home has laundry. Home has the question, What’s for dinner? There’s the television, the phone, calls, texts, emails, and social media.

It’s interesting how my phone seems to pull at me when I’m home. At The Enclave, somehow all of that gets quieter. The responsibilities haven’t disappeared. They’re waiting for me when I return, but for a little while I’ve created some distance between myself and all the things asking for my attention.

Here, I can sit, read, work, talk with a friend, or simply enjoy what’s happening around me. I can even sing and dance in my rocker. And yes, when the live musician is there, I may get up and do a little dancing. 😂 Even when I come by myself, I never feel alone. There’s something about being part of the community around me, even if our only interaction is sharing a smile.

Apparently, I Can Stay a While

Now we need to discuss the evidence that might support the addiction side of this argument. Twice, I’ve stayed at The Enclave for six hours — and neither time was planned.

The first time, I was there with my family. Before we left, I asked my husband how long he thought we’d been there. He guessed about two hours. He was quite surprised when I told him we’d actually been there for six.

The second time, I was there with a friend. We talked, laughed, and connected. My daughter was home and able to take care of dinner for my husband and mom, so I didn’t have to watch the clock. Somehow, six hours passed again.

That’s what happens to me here. Time seems to stand still.

Maybe I’ve Been Doing This Longer Than I Realized

The Enclave isn’t actually the first place that has had this kind of pull on me. Years ago, there was a wonderful Christian bookstore in our area. Later, Barnes & Noble became one of our family hangouts. Our family also had season passes to botanical gardens, which gave us beautiful places to walk, get some exercise, and simply enjoy being outside.

Then there was Disneyland. Living in Southern California, we were blessed to have season passes for several years. Sometimes we’d go two or three times in one week just to walk the two parks and get our steps in. And, of course, there are our California beaches. Redondo is a favorite. Sunshine, fresh air, and lots of walking. That’s my vibe.

Here’s what I realize now: I never called any of that self-care. I don’t really remember intentionally practicing self-care when I was younger. I was busy, on the go, and doing for everyone else. The bookstores, gardens, Disneyland, and beaches were usually places I went with my daughter or our family. They weren’t things I was doing “just for me.”

But somewhere along the way, those places became restorative for me too. I didn’t go searching for a self-care spot. I simply noticed there were places I wanted to return to again and again. In this season of my life, that place happens to be The Enclave.

So…Self-Care or Addiction?

I’m going with self-care. 😂 And yes, I realize that admitting I’ve spent six hours there on two separate occasions doesn’t exactly strengthen my case.

The Enclave doesn’t remove the responsibilities from my life. Sometimes I can’t stay as long as I’d like because there are things I need to take care of at home. When I know I want a little extra time there, I try to prepare what I can before I leave. Eventually, I go home, but I go home having had some breathing room.

Maybe that’s one reason places like this matter. Self-care doesn’t have to mean escaping from your life. Sometimes it’s simply creating a little space within your life where everything isn’t asking something of you.

Today, I had my lavender chai, sat in my favorite rocker, listened to the waterfall, watched the butterflies, and worked on this very blog. I didn’t stay for the evening music this time. Life called me home, and that’s okay. There will be another day.

But Where Is Your Enclave?

The more I thought about why I love this place, the more I realized that the important question isn’t really why The Enclave works for me. It’s what kind of place works for you.

Maybe you already have one and have never thought of it as part of your self-care. Maybe, like me, you’ve had different places during different seasons of your life. Or maybe you don’t have one right now.

That’s what I want to explore in Part Two. We’ll talk about how to recognize your own Enclave — a place that gives something back to you when so much of life requires something from you.

And please don’t read about my six-hour visits and think you need hours to practice this kind of self-care. Take the minutes. Sometimes a few minutes in a place that loves you back may be exactly what you need.

Keep taking the small steps that help you age well with confidence.

About Evelyn

Hi, I’m Evelyn!

For more than 26 years, I’ve been helping women over 40 care for their skin with confidence. Through Purple Essence By Evelyn, I share practical skincare education, healthy wellness habits, and intentional self-care to help women age well with grace, confidence, and purpose.

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